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I Won't Accept Can't

When I was a little girl, my mom took me shoe shopping. This was back in the day when you sat & waited for somebody to measure your foot, bring you shoes and helped you pick the right one – and they usually were nice! After trying some on, it was time to make a decision. The shoe I liked was available in three colors: red, blue or brown. Hey, it was the 80’s. So, my mom asked me “Which shoe do you want? The red or the blue”. Without hesitation, I said “Brown”. Let the record show that to this day, there is a picture of me in a blue dress & brown shoes on my parents wall. Now, if my mom had said “Pick the color you want”, who knows what I would’ve chosen. Instead, I chose the option not given to me. To this day, that’s the kind of person I am. Tell me that I can have option A or option B, I want option C. If I see a sign that says “Do Not Cross This Line”, don’t think I don’t cross it with my tiny pinky toe.

Several weeks ago, I was told that I can’t run or do boot camp by my doctor. I have arthritis in my knee at the ripe old age of 34. Save your dinner at 4:30 jokes because I’ve already got them covered. (Sidebar: May I recommend that if you are in pain, don’t ignore it.) After several weeks of doing physical therapy and doing very low impact workouts, I decided I wasn’t accepting that I can’t do boot camp. That’s just one more step backwards in what I’m still trying to do. After talking to the physical therapist, I was told that I could return to boot camp. However, it has to be very modified or I may further injure myself. I’ll always be in pain, but my entire body isn’t injured or broken! I’ve never realized how much I missed it until I couldn’t go. It’s a great stress reliever and I’ve really needed it the past few weeks. So I’m ready to burn some serious calories. Here’s the good news: I get to see Rachel again because she’s coming to Team Homewood. Here’s the bad news: I get to see Rachel again because she’s coming to Team Homewood. I know it’ll be tough and I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for hearing her yell at me….and possibly me crying…it’s inevitable. Don’t. Judge. Me.

It kind of makes me think about how many times I’ve told myself that I can’t finish my journey. Why?! Yes, I know it’s never really finished. I have a destination that I’m trying to get to but in a way, I’m somehow telling myself that I can’t do it. I know I can. I’ve been there before. I’m not sure why I keep telling myself that I can’t because I loathe that word. So it’s time: I won’t accept the word “can’t”. I can get there.

I know what to eat. I know that Triscuits and cheese don’t get it. I don’t really even like Triscuits. They taste like salty hay…not that I know what salty hay tastes like. I just know that if they’re in my face, I’ll eat them. It’s about more protein, less processed. It’s about “eating like your grandmother”. I know how many calories I should have in a day. I’ve done so much research until I’m blue in the face. I know so much. I just have a hard time staying on track and getting focused. For whatever reason, I get sidetracked super easy. So here I am, once again trying to get focused.

Now that it’s time to get focused, I’ve got a great support “team”. I have 2 friends that I can call, e-mail or text to help me say “Yes you can”. It is an uphill battle and it’s like you’re constantly pushing a car up a hill. One slip and you can be worse than where you started.

*Editors Note: If you don’t think this picture isn’t motivating, have somebody take a picture of you from behind and then see how you feel.

84 comments (Add your own)

1. Sharon Winn wrote:
The way your story begins, is exactly what I am going through right now! I finally decided to do something about my sedentary lifestyle and joined Extreme Fit Boot Camp at Heardmont with Ashley. Unfortunately, I've ended up with very painful knee problems. I too was just told NO more boot camp!!! I'm having to go thru 6 weeks of PT just to get my lower body joints strengthened up for exercise! WHAT?!?!? At 41, I can't just start working out without a doctor giving me permission? Surely not! I don't like being told NO or that I can't do something I want! So, I will do my PT time and "prepare" my lower body joints. But, I don't care if I have to sit down to keep from moving my lower body, but I'm going to boot camp and at least work out my upper body. And once my lower half is prepped I will be back in it full-time...all-in! And this time, I will never stop! Thank you for posting your inspiring story!

Mon, September 26, 2011 @ 8:31 PM

2. Lynn wrote:

YOU DA WOMAN!!! Thank you for a very inspiring story and the motivation I need to kick myself in the butt and move on to the next big challenge. I want to run a 5K. I will have plenty of time since fall is here and most of the races are done for the season. But whatever the first one is for this next year (unless I find one before the snow starts) I will try and run. I swore that I would never run more than 2 miles. I ABHORE running!! It's boring, at least on the treadmill, but I am hoping that outside on the road it won't be as bad. I also live in a constant state of battle; me against my desire to everything carb related. When I reduce my carbs the monster in me appears to attack all those nearby. There are certain times that it's safer to have a little than take it out on bystanders (i.e. family).
You go girl!! Be careful not to re-injury but do everything you can.

Good Luck!!

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