When I was a little girl, my mom took me shoe shopping. This was back in the day when you sat & waited for somebody to measure your foot, bring you shoes and helped you pick the right one – and they usually were nice! After trying some on, it was time to make a decision. The shoe I liked was available in three colors: red, blue or brown. Hey, it was the 80’s. So, my mom asked me “Which shoe do you want? The red or the blue”. Without hesitation, I said “Brown”. Let the record show that to this day, there is a picture of me in a blue dress & brown shoes on my parents wall. Now, if my mom had said “Pick the color you want”, who knows what I would’ve chosen. Instead, I chose the option not given to me. To this day, that’s the kind of person I am. Tell me that I can have option A or option B, I want option C. If I see a sign that says “Do Not Cross This Line”, don’t think I don’t cross it with my tiny pinky toe.
Several weeks ago, I was told that I can’t run or do boot camp by my doctor. I have arthritis in my knee at the ripe old age of 34. Save your dinner at 4:30 jokes because I’ve already got them covered. (Sidebar: May I recommend that if you are in pain, don’t ignore it.) After several weeks of doing physical therapy and doing very low impact workouts, I decided I wasn’t accepting that I can’t do boot camp. That’s just one more step backwards in what I’m still trying to do. After talking to the physical therapist, I was told that I could return to boot camp. However, it has to be very modified or I may further injure myself. I’ll always be in pain, but my entire body isn’t injured or broken! I’ve never realized how much I missed it until I couldn’t go. It’s a great stress reliever and I’ve really needed it the past few weeks. So I’m ready to burn some serious calories. Here’s the good news: I get to see Rachel again because she’s coming to Team Homewood. Here’s the bad news: I get to see Rachel again because she’s coming to Team Homewood. I know it’ll be tough and I’m trying to mentally prepare myself for hearing her yell at me….and possibly me crying…it’s inevitable. Don’t. Judge. Me.
It kind of makes me think about how many times I’ve told myself that I can’t finish my journey. Why?! Yes, I know it’s never really finished. I have a destination that I’m trying to get to but in a way, I’m somehow telling myself that I can’t do it. I know I can. I’ve been there before. I’m not sure why I keep telling myself that I can’t because I loathe that word. So it’s time: I won’t accept the word “can’t”. I can get there.
I know what to eat. I know that Triscuits and cheese don’t get it. I don’t really even like Triscuits. They taste like salty hay…not that I know what salty hay tastes like. I just know that if they’re in my face, I’ll eat them. It’s about more protein, less processed. It’s about “eating like your grandmother”. I know how many calories I should have in a day. I’ve done so much research until I’m blue in the face. I know so much. I just have a hard time staying on track and getting focused. For whatever reason, I get sidetracked super easy. So here I am, once again trying to get focused.
Now that it’s time to get focused, I’ve got a great support “team”. I have 2 friends that I can call, e-mail or text to help me say “Yes you can”. It is an uphill battle and it’s like you’re constantly pushing a car up a hill. One slip and you can be worse than where you started.
*Editors Note: If you don’t think this picture isn’t motivating, have somebody take a picture of you from behind and then see how you feel.
Mon, September 26, 2011
by Susan Nooney